Burmuda Love

I'm looking at Pete in several different ways right now, and usually, I'm too much of something else to wear my rose-colored glasses. I don't know why I keep some kind of faith in Pete, but I do. I would guess my "Richard Gere," to be Jon throwing himself on me in front of everyone right now. I don't always watch my back when people bullshit about me, but for the sake of Pete, I'm letting you know that I'm not hooking up with Jon at all. He's 10x worse than to ever wear rose colored glasses for and I've been past the point in playing myself with any naïve games. He is on my bad side for life. I could send him dead roses for more years to come on a day like today's Valentines Day. Whatever he wants to send me roses for; he has my dead roses in return. .... While you're not completely staying in touch with your anger Pete, I can tell I upset you, and I may upset you again, but I'm wearing my rose-colored glasses right now hoping that I won't be too triggered into any more fast moves or anything. I don't like some questionable signs and the way I feel paranoid with what could be your gossip and trash talk. While I'm not much of a fan of Adele either with the share she has with an ex-friend Carissa who has trash talked me and wanted to be controlling,..., the "Chasing Pavements," is a song I feel I can relate to. It is the depression after "Ghost." What is the point in taking the time on you; giving a shit; letting you have any more lovemaking and sexual wins if we're always going to be stuck in Burmuda and I have a feeling I just won't see you again? Should I just keep on chasing pavements? I know I want you, I cringe in wanting to find you out more because you could be more mean and terrible than I realize, and I'm depressed for you. I'm not entirely depressed, but I feel led on where I feel like it would lead nowhere with us. Like, for whatever stubborn reason, you probably won't break out of your Bollywood and see me and have a normal relationship in person. I'm depressed and don't want to feel alone without you......I'll eventually let myself get over you... Right now is the depression phase.....