Ship Reassesment and Looking at Boat #6

.....Boat #6..... hmm hmm hmm. You have me outsmarted some. You really do; but not in entirety. While I can't control my history; the same hell hole repeats of gangsters and dipshits; the way I seem to get stuck in the same quarantine; the same way the stalker and stalker's actions will always seem to be my problem and responsibility; I will plead for you to reassess yourself and whatever it is you want to do. You rightfully see me as an injured person, but you should care that you should be any different. You just don't understand how the last bollywoods who came my way (mostly the hockey team that I couldn't dodge) drove me insane and want to make me scream bloody murder so much harder. There are certain men and gangster men that I am very serious with with how much of a serious injustice they are to me. The "gangster's paradise," I've lived in IS NO PARADISE. You sure let yourself have the upper hand in being the predator you are but you seriously might be jealous or intimidated with the number of bollywoods I've been through. My main point is still there with you are still just as Bollywood as anyone no matter how intimidated or jealous you could be and I don't care about whatever bonus points you could get with my ego with "at least you are jealous and intimidated." I believe you know more about me than I know about you and this in another disadvantage and unfairness I have in feeling blindsided with the predator you are.... I do want to have more consideration for you. In my present time of feeling injured and weak, yes it is hard for me to look at you. It is difficult to know whether or not you are another gang banger. It is most difficult to look at you with you are another obvious Bollywood that I most likely will not win with and you get to win your control anyway. You are right in that I don't want to feel more injured than I already do and the predator you are will use it against me... You should find a way to woo me more, initiate yourself into my gang and convince me you are not in David Duchovny's gang or are with any other gang banger. And, most important of all, like any of the rest of them, you have to break out of your Bollywood and meet me in person...good before the bad and ugly. What is the ugly? You have threatened me as a Draper and your real life status and my punk ass bitch better not take you on the way I have the others. RED ALERT GANGSTER DRAPER ALERT . If there comes a day where I feel I am playing a very dangerous game of chicken with you; THAT DAY MAY COME Leading to the next reassessment: What would you do if I got myself shot? What would you do if you meant to keep me severely disrespected and humiliated and in return I had the smarts enough to especially humiliate and disrespect you to the point that I was shot, or that you would actually become a real wife beater. Whether or not you would be a real wife beater, would you really still have your pride if something bad were to happen to me? Do you feel that you have nothing to lose at all if you were to be severely unfair, severely disrespectful, and severely humiliating to me? ...Don't be another "Rebel without a cause," Bollywood repeat with me. I don't know how long I will go until I let myself start to look at you. I really don't want to have to deal with another Bollywood and I want you to treat me to normalcy and talk to me in person. If you look at my injured self too much as a hungry wolf, I will believe you are not the right guy for me. I will have a proposed dutch date that I will eventually make with you if you continue to stay in my head. I will plan it, and you will choose whether or not you will meet me in person and I will enable myself to keep you squared away with the choices you make or don't make. I will know the effort and protection I made in wanting to decide whether or not I want you to have your way with me. Some guys think they can dodge or outsmart my efforts BUT THEY NEVER DID. Woo me boat 6. Initiate yourself..…...

Drama

While I'm not being discreet with Cervelli, I have decided to be mostly discreet with some Russian Burmuda drama that isn't fair..... First off, is Cervelli. I have a strong belief that he does have a girlfriend behind my back but I really don't know why he would choose to lead me on. I am not understanding his intentions or agenda. If he was someone I could completely believe in; I would want to. I can't believe in Cervelli, so I won't. How does that feel to keep testing me knowing your doing nothing to prove your trust? You mean double standard unfair player..... While I do give Cervelli his own personal credit, I know of a lesser famous person he looks like who I know I have never wanted to mess with but it messing with me and I must give some kind of response... Man this whole thing kills me. He should know I have never been into open relationships. I have my own personal double standard when it comes to occupations and it really was his occupation that was the main reason that I didn't have an open enough mind..... Now there is another reason that he is married. I should feel more homewrecked than his wife should: and I do, but it wasn't that he and I even chanced each other when we had a chance. His timing is rude and also feeds the flame to the initial impression I had against him in his occupation...I could have had an open mind or an emotional outlook and support for him if he could be troubled in some way, but I have distrust and assumption that he could have mean motives. If he feels pressure in Bollywood with Ariana and Mack; I am not responsible for any Bollywood stories or tabloids that could have come of it.... He breaks my heart with wherever he is coming from in an unexpected way